On Saturday, the newly elected councilman tapped into his feminine side as a contestant in the Miss Catastrophe Pageant, a womanless beauty pageant put on by the Clayton Kiwanis Club.

Lawter, or “LaFonda Peters,” was at his most outrageous during the talent competition. While other contestants sang, clogged or performed comedy routines, Lawter pulled one of the judges on stage for what a family newspaper will call an unusual dance. The audience laughed uncontrollably.

The judge was Johnston County Registrar of Deeds Craig Oliver.

“I didn’t think Craig was going to get up there to start with, although it was funny seeing the look on Craig’s face when he got up there and I put him in the chair,” Lawter said. “When I ripped my dress off, that was priceless.”

Like any good politician, Lawter had a Plan B if Olive didn’t want to go along with the gag. Clayton Mayor Jody McLeod “was next if it hadn’t been Craig,” he said.

After the talent competition, the contestants sat for interviews with Keith Branch, an insurance agent and newly elected school board member. "Alison Mitchiner," aka Richie Markuson, tried to set himself apart, never missing a beat when Branch asked what women wanted.

Women want to be loved, Markuson said, but “at the end of the day, all they really want is to be insured.”

Surprisingly, Lawter was not a runaway winner. He finished just half a point ahead of “Alison Mitchiner,” aka Richie Markuson. The title of Miss Congeniality went to Frank Brown. Other contestants were Andy Srinivisan, Barry Whitt, Bob Field, Paul Calton, Craig Lee and Grant Gilbert.

“I think all the guys had a lot of fun,” Lawter said. “We were in it for the fun and raising money for children. We were glad to see a full crowd.”

Perfecting his, uh, dance was tough, Lawter said. But finding clothes and shoes was tougher, said the councilman, who endured questioning looks as he scoured department stores and thrift shops for the right attire.

Being a woman is hard work, Lawter decided. “We joked backstage that we can’t imagine what women go through to impress a man, wearing heels and walking around with your calves killing you, your feet killing you and spending time to put on make-up and eyeliner,” he said. “It’s not worth it. I am glad I’m not a woman.”

Herald Staff Reporter Sarah McNeil can be reached at 934-2176, Ext. 129, or by e-mail at smcneil@nando.com.