My name is Barbie Tew and I have two sons, Gabriel, 7, and Jackson, 5. My husband and I have been wrestling with the decision on when to start our sons in school for three years now.

When it came time to send Gabriel to kindergarten he was 4 years old and would turn 5 shortly after the school year began. I was torn. I felt certain he was too young but worried if I held him out a year, he would be bored when he finally started kindergarten the following fall.

After all, Gabe knew how to read and he knew basic math, but I still couldn’t bring myself to commit. I went through the motions. I registered him for school and had him go through orientation. But, in the end and after dozens, if not hundreds of conversations with any mother who would listen, we decided we had to wait. Without exception, the responses were the same “I have never met anyone who regretted holding their sons out another year but many moms who regretted sending their sons too early.”

Ironically, once we made the decision, I felt like a weight was removed from my shoulders and we sent Gabriel to Horne United Methodist Church preschool in Clayton for another year. He is now in first grade, and I will admit, he was bored in kindergarten and far ahead of his class in his academics. But, I felt better with him being one of the oldest and a leader rather than the youngest and smallest trying to fit in.

Jackson was more difficult. He is very bright, and when it was his year to begin kindergarten, there was no denying his academic ability. He could read and had a firm grasp of numbers, shapes, and, above all, animals. Don’t point to an opossum and ask Jackson what that is. His response undoubtedly will be “that is a nocturnal, marsupial mammal that is indigenous to Australia and North America with a prehensile tail.” So he definitely could handle the kindergarten curriculum.

But he could not hold a pencil. He could not ride a tricycle. He could not button his pants. His fine motor skills were so far behind his comprehension level it was clear he needed an additional year of preschool.

That was the best decision we could have made for our son. He has been attending Open Arms Preschool, and his teacher, Ms. Eileen, is truly amazing. We could not be happier.

Now we are at a point where Jackson will be starting kindergarten next year (even though he really does not want to) and we know we did the right thing. Both of our sons benefited greatly from the additional year at home and going to preschool for a few hours a day. I will admit, selfishly, I was so glad to have those additional years with them home with me.

So, I am joining the ranks of many women who will say “I never regretted holding my sons out an additional year before starting kindergarten, but I know I would have regretted the decision had I sent them at age 5.”